Forgiven
by ShiftingWinds125
Summary: XI AU! Exerpt: "They had had two years together before everything happened and his world began to fall apart. Spock closed his eyes, allowing a tear to leak out and creep down his cheek as memories from the past few hours flooded his mind and chocked him with his failure…" Spirk


Welcome to my second ever Star Trek fan fiction and my first ever in the XI universe. This story was inspired by a picture on DA made by the very talented muffiesstuff. It's called 'Death.' Go and check it out. After asking I was allowed to write a fic about it. Many thanks muffiestuff!

No flames please. If you don't like Spirk or slash then don't read.

Warnings: two Major character deaths, a little ooc Spock, and some kissing.

Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek! It belongs to Paramount, the great Gene Roddenberry and anything else affiliated with it. I'm just playing with an idea I've always wanted to write.

'…' Bond talk

'…' Thoughts

* * *

"_Forgiven"_

* * *

_Heal what has been hurt_

_Change the fates' design_

_Save what has been lost_

_Bring back what once was mine_

_What once was mine_

* * *

Spock held tight to the controls with his eyes focused on the screen as the stars streaked by in his peripheral. The half-Vulcan clenched his jaw and glanced down to be sure his trajectory was correct before he looked back out at the screen in front of him, deep brown eyes hard. The Narada loomed like a monster before his tiny ship and it grew larger as the space between them shrank.

In a few minutes he would have his vengeance and the peace that he had longed so much for in the past few hours. His t'hy'la's face swam before his vision and pain streaked up from the half-Vulcan's side where his heart was located. 'Jim…'

Spock swallowed and gently reached beneath the collar of his science blues, taking out a small, golden star-shaped pendant. It was attached to a woven silver chain that sparkled in the light of the ship. He lightly ran his thumb over the bright blue stone placed in its center and closed his eyes to hold back the tears as his heart throbbed in time with the broken bond within his mind.

The necklace had been a gift from Jim on the day they bonded. The human had had a second one made for himself, only the stone was of a deep brown. When asked about it James had said that he wanted to be reminded of Spock's eyes so he would never forget their color when they were apart. Since he was a Commander, Spock would be called away on conferences that would last for weeks on end. Jim could not come with him since the human was only a cadet and had school to attend.

Spock had met Jim at the academy when the human entered it and began in his Xenolinguistics class. Kirk had fallen head-over-feet for Spock the instant he laid eyes on the tall half-Vulcan and instantly began a campaign to woo the Linguistics professor. Spock had found it annoying at first when Jim started to help him with his books and hold doors open for him, all the while attempting to flirt with him. It had gone on in the same vein for about a month before the human realized he wasn't getting anywhere and had quickly changed tactics.

The human began to try to be his friend.

Spock had been slightly surprised the first time Jim sat down beside him at lunch. He still remembered Kirk's reply when the half-Vulcan asked him why he had not chosen to sit with his friends.

_Jim shrugged and a smile lit up his bright blue eyes in a way that caught Spock's attention and kept it as the human leaned back in his chair. "I saw you were sitting alone and thought you might want some company."_

From then on they had slowly built a friendship around their common interests and after a year of spending time with each other Spock had found himself falling for the human. It took him six months to admit those feelings to his companion and after another six months of courting Kirk he broke his bond with T'Pring, much to his former fiancée's relief, and happily took Jim as his mate. They had had two years together before everything happened and his world began to fall apart.

Spock closed his eyes, allowing a tear to leak out and creep down his cheek as memories from the past few hours flooded his mind and chocked him with his failure…

* * *

_(U.S.S Enterprise, Transporter Room, After the Sabotage of the drill)_

"Clear the Pad."

Jim looked up from his sitting position on the transporter pad with a frown, meeting the cold brown eyes of his mate before Spock looked down to buckle the phaser holster to his trim waist.

They had been fighting since Kirk beat the Kobayashi Maru. His half-Vulcan mate did not approve of the way Jim had changed the programming of his test. The stress from the entire experience of Vulcan being attacked by a crazed Romulan wasn't helping their tempers, but the human had forgiven his bondmate for his harsh words at the hearing.

Jim would always forgive Spock, no matter what he said or did.

"Why?" Kirk asked as he pulled Sulu to his feet and gently helped him off of the pad. "Where are you going?" Panic spiked through his gut as the half-Vulcan stepped up onto the transporter.

"I'm beaming down to the surface," The reply was curt and it stung just the tiniest bit.

"You mean the surface of_ Vulcan_?" Spock didn't reply as he checked the charge on his phaser. Jim's panic grew as the Commander crouched down on the pad. "You can't do that. It's crazy!" The half-Vulcan wasn't listening to him and Jim took a shaky step toward the transporter. "Spock you can't do this!" The human's heart was in his throat as he stared at the side of his mate's head. "_Spock!_"

The half-Vulcan closed his eyes against the fear and panic racing down the bond. He needed to save his family and the elders, but he also needed the human to be safe for a little while longer. After that near miss on the drill Spock didn't want him in any more dangerous situations unless it was entirely necessary. "Energize!" The lights swirled around Spock like little fireflies as the transporter kicked in.

"Oh not you don't! You're not going to fucking leave without me!" A force slammed into Spock and latched onto him just before they disappeared from the ship, reappearing on the ground of the slowly crumbling world.

Spock stood with wide, panic filled eyes. "Jim," He said shakily. "Return to the ship."

Jim stepped away from his bondmate with a glare and placed his hands on his hips. "No, you're not doing this alone!" He yelled. Kirk's face was slowly turning red from the frustration he felt. Why couldn't Spock get it through his head that they were no longer separate entities and they had to work as a team. "Do you think me so weak?"

"Jim," Spock's hands shook as he clenched them at his sides. "It's not that."

"Then what is it?!" Jim roared as the world around them crumbled a little more. They didn't have time for this dammit, but Kirk couldn't help it. He needed to understand. "Is it because I'm human?" Jim stalked forward, his blue eyes flashing with anger and frustration. "Is that it? I'm some weak little human who can't beat a little game without cheating?!"

Spock's growled and grabbed the human by the shoulders in a bruising grip, giving him a firm shake, his anguished gaze locking with Jim's equally frustrated one. "I can't lose you!" He bowed his head and squeezed his eyes closed. "I just can't."

Jim froze and suddenly noticed as a tear slipped from his mate's eye and slid down his cheek. "Spock…"

He gently wiped away the tear and pulled his mate toward him to wrap his arms around his shoulders in a strong grip. "You won't lose me," He gently tapped the Vulcan on the forehead with a small smile. "I'll always be here," Jim then placed his hand against his bondmate's side, over his heart, and Spock leant into the warm touch with a small sigh. "And here."

When they had entered the Academy they had both known that someday, be it by a blaster bolt or an accident on an away mission, one or both of them would most likely be killed. It was one of the downsides of exploring strange new worlds and seeking out new life-forms.

The human ran his index and middle fingers along the half-Vulcan's as he pulled Spock in and sealed his promise with a kiss from both worlds.

"Now," Jim whispered as he pulled away, but kept their hands clasped. "Are you going to save our family with me?"

Spock took a deep breath and gently squeezed Jim's hand while he closed his eyes and rested his forehead against his other half's, allowing the brightness of his mate's soul to permeate his mind and ground him again. His emotions had been running away from him ever since they left the Academy. He feared it could be the beginnings of something he had hoped his human blood would exempt him from, but he could not be sure.

Only time would tell and they did not have much of it.

The half-Vulcan opened his eyes and nodded. _'Yes. I am,' _He replied and his mental voice flowed through Jim's mind like cool water, soothing the burning fear and panic there.

They both took off across the crumbling terrain at breakneck speed. Jim had already begun to sweat in Vulcan's sweltering heat and the air was thin, but he was able to breath it after having spent some time on Spock's home planet after they bonded. He just never got used to the heat.

The ground rumbled beneath his feet and red dust was thrown up in dark plumes, turning the already red sky an even bloodier color. Jim tripped on a rock and Spock caught him before he hit the ground. "Are you alright?"

Kirk nodded and smiled before he looked up at the cliffs rising in front of them. He could just make out an opening in the rock through the dust and smoke. "Is that the Katric Ark?" He asked as he pointed it out.

Jim had never been in one of the most sacred places on Vulcan. He may have been bonded to a member of the house of Surak, but he was human and didn't live on planet like Amanda did. For some reason he got the feeling he wasn't even allowed in there just from the disapproving looks he got from the others in his Vulcan family. Hell, he didn't even think Sarek approved of him.

So he had stayed out.

Spock followed his line of sight and nodded. "Yes," He answered. "That is."

Kirk grinned and followed after his mate as they made the steep climb up the side of the mountain. In a short time they had reached the Ark and had entered the dark opening.

The ground shook beneath Jim's feet and he glanced up as a large crack formed above his head just as they reached the inner chamber.

Ancient statue's of varying height dotted the room. They were images of famous Vulcans from centuries past. Kirk's mouth dropped open as he craned his neck back to see the top of one before he was pulled along by Spock toward the largest where the council and Spock's parents were gathered around it in a circle. The statue was of the most famous leader in Vulcan's long history, Surak. The one Vulcan who started the Great Reformation and lead his warring people down the path of logic and peace.

Spock ran up the steps, taking them two at a time with Jim right behind him. "Mother," the Commander called to the group as they stood around the statue with joined hands and bent heads, pleading for help from their Reformer.

Amanda's head shot up and her brown eyes grew wide with terror. "Spock," She broke away and wrapped her arms around Spock's shoulders.

Sarek came to stand stiffly beside them, but Jim could see the fear in his eyes as they locked on his own. "Hate to break this up," Kirk said, nervously tugging on the back of Spock's blue shirt as another large crack formed over their heads. "But we have to get out of here."

Spock nodded and gently pushed his parents ahead of him before he grabbed Jim by the hand in a tight grip. "A Black Hole has been placed at the center of Vulcan. The planet has only minutes," The whole room gave a hard shake as if in emphasis and Jim gripped his mate's arm to stay standing. "We must hurry," Spock said as he began to quickly drag his human across the rocky room with his family closely following.

A statue behind them gave a grinding groan and fell as they exited the room, flattening one of the elders. Some of the other's gave small squeaks of fear and quickened their pace. In the hall leading to the outside the crack from earlier split and a large piece of the ceiling fell on several of the stragglers.

The light nearly blinded Jim as he was pulled out onto the crumbling ledge. Smoke filled the air and stung his eyes as the ground shook harder below his feet. Spock pulled out his communicator and began to speak hurriedly into it, his panic and fear filling the bond as he pulled Jim closer to him. "Spock to Enterprise," He said. "Get us out of here."

"Stay where you are," Chekov's voice answered. "I've got a lock on you."

Amanda looked out at the dying world from her place near the ledge with saddened eyes as the white lights began to swirl around the group. This had been her home for many years. So many memories resided in the soil beneath her feet and now it was being taken away from them.

She did not notice the ground begin to crack around her feet, but Jim did and he sure as hell wasn't going to let her fall. Spock's eyes widened as he noticed as well and was about to call out to his mother when, as if in slow motion, Jim shot out and pushed Amanda away from the edge just as the ground gave way.

"Jim!" Spock's hand reached out and their fingers brushed as their eyes locked. The last thing the Vulcan saw before his mate disappeared from his sight was the bright blue of Jim's gaze. "JIM!"

Anguish filled his being and Spock took a step forward with his hand outstretched, ready to jump after Kirk when the transporter grabbed him and pulled him farther away from his mate.

The bright lights of the transporter room flashed before his vision as he materialized with his hand still outstretched. He took a shaky step forward with his eyes fixed upon the empty pad where Jim was supposed to be. "T'hy'la?" He whispered brokenly as he slowly lowered his hand, hoping with everything he had that Jim would answer and everything would be alright again. That this was just one of his mate's stupid jokes and he'd come out from behind the hybrid with a large grin and Spock would scold him. Perhaps Spock would give him the silent treatment for a while before the Vulcan forgave him and they'd defeat Nero together.

But all he got in reply was a silence that was both within and without as he took another step toward the pad before him.

Doctor McCoy swallowed the lump that formed in his throat from his place by the controls. He had been called to the transporter room by Chekov when the young Russian had reported that Jim Kirk had latched onto Spock just before they both were transported out. Leonard had rushed down to the room with his kit in hand and waited for his crazy friend to return with his Vulcan, but only Spock and council had returned.

McCoy looked over to the controls where Pavel sat to see the kid lower his blond head in defeat with tears running in small rivulets down his cheeks and the CMO's eyes widened.

No, it wasn't true. Not James T. Kirk… He couldn't be…

There was a sudden jerk in Spock's head and the bond snapped. The pain forced a small whimper from the hybrid's lips as his hand clenched in the fabric at his side where his heart throbbed.

Amanda's hand covered her lips with a small gasp and she suddenly found herself clinging to Sarek with tears pouring from her eyes. She had loved Jim as much as she loved her son and Amanda knew deep down her husband did as well. She would be forever grateful to Jim for saving her life, but she would also eternally feel guilty for depriving her son of the years of happiness he deserved.

Sarek's eyes were filled with grief as he watched his son stumble slightly under the assault of pain caused by the broken bond. He tightened his hold on his wife as she let out an even louder sob in his chest as his sadness filled the bond. Had James lived Sarek would have owed the human his life for saving his mate's. He didn't know what he would have done had James not been there to push Amanda from the edge, but he knew he would be eternally thankful for what Kirk had done.

Spock felt numb as he dropped to his knees on the pad where Jim should have been with wide tear-filled eyes. His anguished screams of his mate's name echoed through his cold and empty mind as he watched through the transporter room window as the planet collapsed in on itself and took his other half with it.

Spock's breath suddenly hitched as one of many sobs bubbled up his throat and the small sound echoed through the quiet room

Jim was gone.

* * *

"Ambassador Spock," The computer said suddenly, causing Spock's eyes to open slowly as the female voice pulled him from his memories and forced him back to reality. "You are on a collision course."

His brown eyes flickered over to the computer screen to check his trajectory before a bright burst of light in the corner of his eye caused him to return his gaze forward again. Three missiles were heading straight for his tiny ship. Their green flamed tails glowed like comets against the starry background of space.

Spock gritted his teeth as his eyes narrowed in frustration. This wasn't how it was supposed to be.

The plan had been set the instant his elder counterpart took the Captain's chair. The Ambassador and Commander would get aboard Nero's ship and save Pike while one of them would destroy the Red Matter. They all three would be beamed back aboard on the signal. A special transponder attached to their belts would locate them and take them back to the Enterprise.

Spock Prime had been set to take the Jellyfish, but the younger half-Vulcan had had different plans.

* * *

"_No," The Commander said, pushing his elder counterpart gently aside. "You go get Pike. I will deal with this."_

_Prime bit his lip, knowing full well what his younger self was planning. "You can't do this," He said placing his hand on a blue clad shoulder. "Don't throw your life away."_

_The Commander shrugged the elder's fingers off and turned to face him, his face an emotionless mask. "This is what I want," He typed in a few numbers on the controls before he turned back to the Ambassador-turned-Captain. "When you return to the ship, please tell my mother that I love her."_

_Prime opened his mouth to argue, but saw that it would fall on deaf ears. Once his mind was made up nothing, except Jim, would deter him. "Very well," The elder replied with a small sigh before he held up the ta'al with sad eyes. "Due to the circumstances all I can say is 'may you find peace.'"_

_The Commander nodded and returned the salute, his middle and ring finger split apart and formed a 'v' down the middle of his hand while his thumb stuck out from the side. "I will. And may you find peace and have a long life."_

_The Ambassador bit his lip and nodded before he reluctantly left as the younger Vulcan took a seat at the helm and started the engines._

_As the Jellyfish lifted off Spock ripped the small box-shaped transponder from his belt and threw it across the room where it landed and spun in a circle on the clear floor before it came to a stop, gleaming blue-black in the bright light of the ship._

_The Commander turned his determined gaze forward and pushed the throttle down with a white knuckled grip. The ship jumped forward and became a bright white and blue blur as it sped toward the closed off exit._

_He would not fail. Not Again._

* * *

"Incoming missiles," The computer said, pulling Spock from his memories once again. "If the ship is hit the Red Matter will be ignited."

Spock's heart pounded loudly in his ears as he gritted his teeth and his hands clenched on the controls. "Understood," He said breathlessly.

If this was how it was supposed to happen, then he would take it willingly. Hopefully Nero and his ship would be sucked into the Black Hole that would form after he and his ship were gone.

A light on a screen out of the corner of his vision suddenly began to flash. The Commander glanced over at it and a small smirk graced his lips. So the cavalry had finally arrived.

The Enterprise appeared on the scene a few seconds later, phasers blazing as it took out the oncoming missiles. Spock's eyes narrowed in concentration as his ship streaked through an opening located between the saucer and engines of the ship and increased his speed.

The sound of his pounding heart filled his ears as his goal grew ever closer until he could almost count the number of green lights circling the opening to the main hanger of the Narada.

Small white lights suddenly began to swirl around the small black transponder laying behind the half-Vulcan. Their spinning grew in speed until it was a bright star shining on the floor before a whirring noise filled the room. The ball of light burst, leaving nothing in its wake as the transponder was called back to its ship and the people awaiting their Commander's and Captain's return.

But only two would come back. The third had made his choice.

Spock closed his eyes in remorse as his parents' faces flashed in his mind's eye. He hoped his father would understand why he had chosen this path and he hoped his mother would, in time, forgive him.

The ship shook as the edge of the Jellyfish scraped against one of the Narada's arms, throwing off small glowing sparks that went out as soon as they touched the airless void of space.

Unnoticed by Spock, time around him seemed to slow as the craft drew ever closer to its goal.

A hand gently touched the Commander's shoulder, causing the half-Vulcan to jump. His eyes snapped open and his head whipped to the left, his gaze instantly locking with the glowing blue orbs of his mate.

"J-Jim?" Spock asked, his voice horse as a lump grew in his throat. "J-Jim is it really…"

What sort of illusion was this? The half-Vulcan swallowed as his eyes began to tingle with the first drops of tears. Had his mind made up this image of his dead mate to bring him comfort in his last moments?

"Its me, Spock," A grin spread across James Kirk's face before he gently reached out and brushed his middle and index finger along the top of the half-Vulcan's hand, causing Spock's breath to hitch as he caught a glimpse of his mate's bright mind and soul before the human began to pull away.

"No!" The half-Vulcan's hand snapped out, grabbing Jim's wrist and pulling him closer. "Don't leave. Not again," His voice was pleading even as his free hand touched the side of his mate's face, instinctively searching out the psi points to reconnect himself with the other half of his soul. "Please."

Jim's eyes grew softer as he lowered himself so that he was sitting on his knees beside Spock's chair, their gazes still locked. "I'm here," He said with a smile, gently removing the half-Vulcan's hold on his wrist and lacing their fingers together between their bodies. "I won't leave. Never again."

Spock nodded before he closed his eyes and delved deep into his mate's mind. He had to be sure this was Jim before he reconnected them.

The Narada's broken hanger doors drew steadily closer until it took up almost the entirety of the cockpit windows. They had only moments.

There was a bright flash of light before Spock's closed lids before they snapped open and he pulled Jim into his arms with a small sob. This was Jim, his T'hy'la, his other half. Somehow, someway James T. Kirk had come back for him. The bond had reformed itself the instant their minds touched. He could feel the light of his mate's soul residing in his mind even as his mate sat before him. He wasn't alone anymore.

Kirk willingly went, wrapping his broken mate up his embrace as he climbed into the chair, straddling Spock's waist as the half-Vulcan hid his face in the human's shoulder.

Spock pulled away a few moments later with tears still falling down his face. "Jim," He said, lowering his head. "Can you ever forgive me?"

"Spock, look at me," James touched his mate's chin and gently forced him to look back into his eyes. The Commander willingly obeyed and raised his head with Jim's guidance. Spock's breath hitched, his eyes bright with tears as he stared into his mate's beautiful sapphire orbs. Jim smiled and rested his forehead against his other half's with a sigh. _'No matter what,' _He said through the bond, squeezing his mate's hand. _'I will always forgive you.'_

'_Jim…'_ Spock's lips found his mate's as the black void engulfed the screen and white light burst once again before the pair's eyes, surrounding them in its warmth and taking them away just as the Jellyfish collided with the Narada and the flames engulfed the smaller 'craft.

The Red Matter ignited in a burst of dark light, capturing Nero's ship and sucking it in.

* * *

Spock Prime stood on the bridge of the Enterprise, gripping the small transponder in his hands as he watched the scene with mournful eyes. "May you find eternal peace," He whispered, feeling the small reassuring brush of his own mate's katra against his mind before he let him take over take over.

"Sir?" Sulu asked, hands tight on the controls. Hazel flecked brown eyes opened and focused in on Hikaru. The helmsman bit his lip as he saw the hazel bleed more into the brown.

Prime's face grew serious as he turned his gaze back to the disintegrating ship on the view screen. "Finish this," He ordered in a voice different from his own.

"Yes, Sir!" Sulu said with an almost sadistic grin before he and Chekov opened fire upon Nero's ship. They would finally get to avenge their friends.

Pieces of the futuristic spacecraft broke apart and shattered like so many shards of black glass as they were destroyed by the phasers and photon torpedoes with the help of the Black Hole that had formed in the wake of the Jellyfish's destruction and Spock's sacrifice.

Admiral James T. Kirk watched in satisfaction through his mate's eyes as Nero was finally brought down. He knew this wouldn't be the last battle the Enterprise had to face, but he knew that, even without their Jim and Spock, they had the push they needed to become the best team this galaxy would ever see.

There was, after all, still a Jim and Spock in this time. And they would see to it that the Enterprise would reach is fullest potential. Even if they somehow had to become Captain to do it.

'_How does the title of Oldest Captain in Starfleet History sound to you?' _James asked dryly, brushing his spiritual hands through his mate's salt and pepper hair.

Spock Prime raised an eyebrow at the question. _'Fascinating,' _He said. _'It does indeed have a ring to it.' _He thought about it, weighing the pros against the cons before he reached a decision. _'Yes, I will accept the Captaincy if it is offered to me when we return to Earth.'_

Kirk laughed and wrapped his arms around his mate, breathing in Spock's scent. _'And we'll face anything that comes our way together.'_

Prime smiled and kissed his human's cheek. _'Together,' _He replied, wrapping Jim up in his arms and holding him close. _'Forever and always.'_

* * *

_Thus one story ends and another begins…_

* * *

I couldn't resist. I had to bring back Kirk Prime! Spock Prime just seems so lonely.

I hope you liked that. Sorry Nu!Spock was ooc, but he lost the other half of himself so it was entirely understandable!

Please review! Happy fanfiction hunting!


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